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The # 1 Characteristic that every high achiever has in common is that they never doubted whether they would achieve their goals or not. They believed in themselves from day 1; even though they faced multiple challenges. You know, the kind of challenges that make most people give up. High achievers exude a certain level of confidence that most people wish they had. They walk with their shoulders back, head held high, and radiate an energy that others can’t help but flock to. This is the type of confidence it takes to reach any and every goal.
Remember, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will either.
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Self-esteem isn’t the only type of confidence you should build though. Self-esteem goes hand in hand with another high achiever’s trait called, ‘Skill Set Confidence’.
A high achiever learns to assess the skills they possess.
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When you know the skills you are already equipped with, you can then go after goals you know you are capable of reaching because you have the skill set to back it up. If you don’t already have the skillset needed to achieve your goal, then you can focus on developing the specific skills you will need to succeed. Assessing which skills you already have and which ones you will need to develop helps you develop a realistic timeline moving forward. You can’t play in the NBA if you can’t sink a free throw, so if the NBA is your goal, you will need to act like Michael Jordan, and practice until you’re good enough to make it. Knowing and developing the skills it takes to reach your goals ensures your confidence to be able to go all the way.
When I was 20 years old, my goal was to sing professionally, get paid great $, and travel the world through that job. And luckily for me, I found a way to do all those things at once by becoming a singer on cruise ships. I knew the talent they hired was fierce, so for the next 6 months, I worked tirelessly on developing the skillset I needed to land my dream job. I worked full time as a waitress, and on my off time, I took voice lessons, dance classes, and acting classes. When I felt confident enough, I flew to Chicago for the audition and landed my very first job as a cruise ship singer. After that first job, I never gave up on developing my skill set as a singer, because I knew something very important… The better I got, the more shows I landed, and n the last 5 years of my singing career, I didn’t have to audition for shows any longer. Show directors were calling me. I’m not telling you this to impress you, but to impress UPON you something important…
Every time you up-skill, you move further uphill.
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This isn’t rocket science, but it’s easier to hear than apply. In studying human behavior over the years, I’ve discovered that most people tend to lack both self-esteem and skill set confidence for 3 main reasons:
1. Self Sabotage . This is where one caves into constant disbelief. They tell themselves that they aren’t capable of achieving what they want, and therefore it sticks in their head, which makes them give up or don’t go after it in the first place.
2. Fear of failure or fear of success . This is where someone lives out of fear instead of confidence. You know what FEAR stands for right? Forget Everything And Run! When someone is afraid to fail, they tend to give up. The other fear, is the fear of success; where someone thinks they want success and knows they can reach it, but deep down inside they are scared of the changes that will occur once they reach it. Deep down, their real fear is change.
3. Caring too much about what others think . This is where someone thinks, “If I make a mistake, they will judge me.”, or, “If I fail, they will laugh at me.” or, “They keep telling me it’s not possible.” Listen closely….
Never let the SMALL mindset of others determine whether or not you accomplish BIG dreams.
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Here are 5 surefire ways to improve your self-esteem & become more confident:
1. Positive Self Talk . For every negative thought on why you CAN’T accomplish something, write down 3 positives on why you CAN. Maintaining a positive mindset about yourself and your skills is essential. Focus on what you CAN do instead of what you can’t do.
2. Write down what success looks like once you achieve your goals . When you know what lies ahead once you achieve your success, you can get excited instead of scared about the change that will take place in your life, because you will know exactly what success looks like.
3. Choose carefully who your supporters are, and share your dreams with them only . Sharing your goals with negative people will produce negative thinking in your mind. They will only tell you the reasons why you can’t do what you’re trying to accomplish. People who support your dreams will help boost your confidence and keep pushing you because they believe in you.
4. Plan for complications . If you are smart and study the people who have achieved the goals you’re after, you will see that they all had dealt with struggles along the way. Knowing this, you can mentally plan for any roadblocks that may come, and feel confident that you too, can conquer them.
5. Develop the skill set you need . Educate yourself on your goals. What skill sets does it take to get there? Have you developed all of them? Are you leaving certain skill sets out because you are in a hurry to get to your end goal? Don’t try and take any short cuts because you don’t have the patience to develop all the skill sets you need. Remember…
Cutting corners gets you cutting corner results.
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Take the time to develop the skills you need to achieve all your goals. If you don’t know what those skills are, I suggest asking a coach or mentor what you can work on that will help you develop the skills necessary to reach your next level.
Self Esteem and Skill Set Confidence will help you develop a stronger belief in yourself, and that will get you thinking like a High Achiever this year.
by:
BETSY ALLEN-MANNING
Keynote Speaker & Human Behavior Expert
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